March 2014

When arguing a point, avoid using the words ALWAYS and NEVER. The person you are arguing with is bound to find at least one exception. Therefore he/she can prove you wrong.

Every woman loves hearing her man say "You are beautiful both inside and out." However, "You are handsome" is not a male's fave. He'd prefer to hear "You are right."  Go figure.

My regular readers know that I’m a big “fake it ‘till you make it” advocate, especially when it comes to exuding confidence. It makes sense because your mind and body strive to agree. (You Neuroscience buffs know it as “cognitive consistency.”) So if your mind tells you that you’re anxious, your body acts accordingly. Happily the reverse is also true. When your body constantly ACTS confident, real self-assurance follows. Here are a few tips.

1.  When entering a superior's office, don't hover by the door. The closer you come to his/her desk, the more confidence you display.

2.  When going through a large door or open double doors, don't walk on one side. Stride straight through the middle.

3.  Be the last to break eye contact when passing someone in the hall. 

4.  Here’s one of my favorites. When you agree with someone, nod your head UP from neutral (jaw parallel to the floor), Nodding down from parallel looks more subservient.

5.  Entering a party or gathering, head for the dead center of the room. That's where self-assured people instinctively gravitate.

6.  In a social living room gathering, choose the highest chair. If it's a business meeting, though, don't sit higher than the boss!

7.  At a table meeting, go for the chair directly to the right of the most important person at the meeting.

8.  Confident people's bodies occupy more space. Insecure people’s take as little space as possible as if to say, "Excuse me for taking up this much of the earth." So make larger gestures. Men can put one arm up on the back of the sofa or seat.

9.  Gentlemen, to look like a leader, swing your arms more significantly when you walk. And ladies, square your body toward the person you're talking to. And beware of smiling TOO much.

10.  And, of course, need I even mention posture? Think of slumping as the “Beat me again, Master” position and stand tall.

If you see someone photographing their partner in a scenic area, offer to take a picture of of both of them. together. You'll love their smiles.

Does the person you just met speak mostly in longer sentences, or shorter sentences? Believe it or not, if you do the same in conversation, it's creates better rapport and he/she is more apt to like you!

While meeting someone new, consciously ask yourself, "What can I learn from this person?" And, "What would she enjoy talking about?" It's usually the same thing!

It seems that a virus is spreading all across America and is expanding at an alarming rate. The cause of the disease is not known, but it is highly infectious among the young. One unique aspect of this malady is that it primarily affects those born after 1984. And. for reasons to be revealed here, people over 30 who observe those suffering from it, find it especially nauseating.

It is called the “No Problem Syndrome.” Most tricenarians and above, hearing “No problem” in response to their “Thank-you” IS a problem—and frighteningly ubiquitous. In fact, just this morning at a coffee shop, I asked the server for some sugar. With a big smile, she replied “No problem.” I had to bite my tongue to resist asking her, “Why do YOU think it would be a problem to get me a few sugar packets?” Her saying “no problem” is tantamount to saying “I usually do find it is a problem to get sugar for a customer, but in this one particular case it’s ‘no problem.’”

OK dear young readers, thanks for letting me vent. I know you mean well and are sincerely trying to be gracious. Take heart from this: Soon all of us born before 1984 will be dead and you can say “no problem” to each other for the rest of your lives. In the meantime, please substitute, “You’re welcome.” (And if you really want to impress us, say “It’s my pleasure.”)

Whenever someone gives you good news (that you already knew), don’t tell her you already heard. Just thank her enthusiastically. Good people like giving fiends good news. Let her enjoy it.

I you want someone to do a favor for you, always ask "May I ask you for a favor?" Or start with, "I'd like to ask you for a favor." It's been proven that you're more apt to get it!

You will hear and say “Happy New Year” many times today. It’s a heartfelt and lovely sentiment. Like any phrase heard too many times, however, it loses some of its punch. To make your good wishes more memorable, tweak it a bit. Try a whole sentence, “I hope you have a very happy New Year.” Or something like, “Have a wonderful New Year,” a “beautiful New Year,”or even, “Have an amazing New Year.” Some younger well-wishers will enjoy hearing, “Have an awesome New Year!"

BTW, thanks for reading my tiny tips this past year. I wish all my dear readers a spectacular 2014.