Here’s a great way to deflect verbal accusations. Even if you’re guilty, it will leave your accuser speechless—and impressed with you!

Upon hearing the accusation, most people immediately jump in with an anxious and defensive “BUT . . .” followed by a breathless excuse.

Whoa. Instead, listen calmly and patiently to their full accusation with an ever-so-slight smile on your face. In fact, nod as they are talking. If it's true, take a pause and say, “You’re absolutely right. I did . . .” (then repeat the accusation VER BATIM.) Follow with, “And I’m glad you brought that up because it gives me the opportunity to explain why . . .” Then, AND ONLY THEN, give the excuse for your actions.

But, hmm, what if you don’t have a good excuse and you’re totally guilty? Not to worry, there is still a way to come out smelling like a rose. Start with the “You’re absolutely right, and I’m so glad you brought that up” bit.  This time, however, continue with something like, “I realize my action wasn’t right. But thank-you for the opportunity to explain my thinking at the time.” It avoids arguments because your accuser has nothing left to say. You’ve admitted your guilt and fed their ego by telling them they’re absolutely right. Best of all, they respect you for being so forthright.

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